When a relationship ends, most of us get fed the usual statements from our friends and family; “There are many fish in the sea”, “You’ll find a better one”, or “Time heals all wounds”. Familiar words, right? From personal experience, these words usually don’t do much to heal a broken heart, and usually sound empty to our ears. Here are some of my own recommendations for those with broken hearts:
1) Live in the present moment. Seems easy, but it isn’t. Most people keep rolling that romantic film in their heads, the one about the first kiss, or the great trip to Cuba that year with uncle John and aunt Jenny, or that supper that he cooked on Valentine’s Day, or… Those films in our heads are the weights that keep us from living the present. In the now time, the relationship has ended, for whatever reason, and it is time to start rolling a new film. A movie where you are the star, where you are meeting new people, doing new things, and becoming happier as each day passes.
2) See friends and family. This really helps to deal with the shock of losing that one special person whom you thought would be with you for all of eternity. Seeing friends and family will remind you that in fact, your world did not gravitate only around your ex, but gravitates around many other people that love and care for you very much. Perhaps here is a good time to remind the reader that you should never make one person the center of your world. Instead, make the people you love and the things you love to do the center.
3) Create new hang-outs. Instead of returning to that lake where you first kissed or that restaurant where you had delicious clams for your birthday, build a new repertoire of hang-outs. After a break-up, it’s your chance to re-invent your world, try new things, eat at new places, visit new countries. Don’t torture yourself by returning to those places that contain memories that bring you pain; go and draw yourself a new map.
4) Write a diary. It’s not just because I’m a writer that I say this; writing liberates the mind and allows us to see more clearly certain situations. When my ex left me, I wrote every day in my diary and eventually, months later, saw to what extent I had grown stronger, happier and even relieved that I was no longer with that man. A diary is like your personal psychologist, and it’s free!
5) Exercise. I advocate exercise to nearly everyone I know who has lived through a break-up because when you exercise, the blood circulates and toxins evacuate better. More than that though, when you exercise one hour a day, it is the equivalent of taking one anti-depressant pill a day. Exercise is free and it’s less damaging in the long run than pumping your system full of pills.
Heart-ache doesn’t dissappear over-night. It does take time to get over that person whom you loved so much just earlier, and it will take some effort on your part to move along to that new film, that film where you are the star and happier than before. You can do it!