According to most of the images that circulate in books and movies and magazines, it is normal for people in a relationship to struggle and fight. This is the message we keep getting over and over again: it’s okay to be at war in love. I am here to tell you otherwise: it is not normal to be at war in love. Love should be a haven of peace not war, and if you find yourself at war daily in your relationship then it means that you need to seriously investigate your reasons for continuing this war.
We are miseducated from an early age that no relationship is easy, that love is all about sacrifice, that love is about putting water in your wine constantly. What if at an early age we had been taught that in a relationship, fighting is not acceptable, that yelling is inappropriate, that insults have no place? What would our society look like if we all walked around respecting our significant other, listening, communicating properly, and setting time aside each day for the couple? Our world would be drastically different, both for adults and for our children.
If you find yourself in a battling relationship, there might be several reasons for this. Perhaps you believe in karma and that you are back here on earth to finally break with the person you had problems with previous to this life. Perhaps you do not love yourself enough to want a better life for yourself. Perhaps you are scared of being alone or are scared of change. And perhaps your parents lived this battle-ground love before you and you know no other life than that.
To break free from a pattern of war in love is all about finding the courage to speak your truth. It entails that you sense this is somehow universally “wrong” and destructive to your Self. It forces you to face your solitude and accept being alone for some time until true love shows up. If you are breaking free from a war-like relationship then I strongly encourage you to go within and work on changing all that bad education that you have had through movies, books, friends, parents, or magazines, and seriously work on attracting a peaceful and quiet relationship.
They say that love is supposed to be a quiet river. If you are still fighting and arguing, ask yourself, do I really want to spend the rest of my life in a raging river, one that might completely destroy me? Or would I prefer a peaceful river where I can close my eyes and breathe life with joy in my heart?